Sunday, 20 June 2010

Grey areas

Learning a new language is an interesting process. From picking up simple words and phrases to being able to express oneself fluently.

Yet within any language, even one's mother tongue, there are grey areas, a subject in which one finds one more or less completely lack the vocabulary. I imagine that common areas are law/legislative expressions, medicine, natural sciences. For others it might be cooking or the parts of a vehicle, be it a bicycle, car or an air plane.

In Swedish I am getting more conscious of my own grey areas, and challenging them, pushing them back. One such area is plants - I know the most common trees and a few flowers, but nothing like I used to be able to in my childhood, where I could name almost all the plants growing in a field or by the roadside. Even the most common plants I see growing along the road to work are nameless to me in this language - it does not help that alot of them are truly unfamiliar, not growing in any place I lived as a child.

So I started taking photos of them and bringing home to compare with my flora - which luckily is easily sorted by colour, not family of plant.

My grey areas will soon be filled with colourful flowers, a wild field.

Thursday, 17 June 2010

Emptiness

Gramps died last night.

The last hero. The last tie.

I feel surprisingly empty, maybe it'll come.
But it feels like I took my goodbyes so long ago. Every time I have seen him I have said my farewell like it would be the last - since autumn 2003 when he had the first stroke, and I travelled all tumbling with the speed and chaos to Norway from Finland; with bus and ferry and train and car. They thought he wouldn't wake up properly. Then he looked up at us and scowled, and after that he became better again.

He knew me every time I visited, the only thing wrong with him was simply age, a worn body breaking down.

He became 101 and almost 1/2 year on that.

I will try to get to the funeral, somehow. Show my respect. I am not close to many people and he was one of the few I loved without reservations. He taught me so much. Going to the funeral however brings its own problems. Not going would be disrespectful and I would lose respect to myself, for one thing. I imagine it'd draw some comment, if not spoken out loud then thought, from relations as well. But going means I have to face them. Not something I am looking forwards to. At all.

I should re-dye my hair this saturday. He would have liked that, me coming with green hair. He always grinned happily at my bright blue and green hair. He was even happier when I did things like wearing it with a bright yellow sweater. If I wasn't so interested in being unobtrusive (trying to avoid more notice than necessary from said relations) I might go like that. Bright happy colours, knowing he preferred that to my normal austere blacks and greys.

Baah, baah, the sheep returns. The black sheep with the green head.

Monday, 14 June 2010

Auntie

While I love the cool weather, I do wish it would stop raining and get warm - not because I like the heat, I am not comfortable in it at all - but because the humid weather with the temperature changes are affecting my joints. This morning I was walking like an old lady, small careful steps, having trouble getting up and down stairs. It got better throughout the day, it mostly does - moving about indoors, getting the joints stretched and warmed up a bit, helps, as long as I don't actually strain them in any way. Stairs baaaad.

I wonder if the warmth would actually help. Last summer was also bad, no matter the weather. Sigh. Maybe I should just go and beg for cortison injections at the local health center and get it over with.

Saturday, 12 June 2010

Hazel Coffee in Hazel Village

The plastic tarp that it covering part of the building, or should I say was covering part of the building, tore lose in the wind around 0630 this morning. It has been going SNAP SNAP BOOM SNAP BOOM WHOOSH SNAP since then. I gave up sleeping and Linus is worried about the sound. Hopefully either someone fix it or the wind calms down before night...

Contrary to what one might think, considering my Mars trilogy reference in yesterday's oneliner post, I have not been reading SF but re-reading the Maisie Dobbs series over the past few weeks. It was a choice made to get myself reading again and it worked. Ordered some more books that will hopefully arrive by early next week.

For now I have coffee that tastes vaguely of hazelnuts, music, and no deadlines to keep - at least for today.

Thursday, 10 June 2010

Anniversary

Tomorrow, Friday, it is ten years since I moved to Sweden.

Cause to celebrate? Perhaps. I feel like it is an anniversary to be marked, anyway.

For some years I have debated whether to get a Swedish citizenship, and I have reached no conclusive answer. If I wouldn't have to give up my Norwegian one, no doubt about it, but I am hesitant to give up what I have and know for something I do not know. Security in the well-known and so forth. I can however not see myself moving back to Norway... unless the political climate there becomes friendlier and Sweden becomes alot worse, perhaps. Thus.. the debate continues in my head.

Tomorrow I will eat good food to mark the day.

Wednesday, 9 June 2010

Dualities

At the moment I have two strong feelings about my job/work/stress levels.

1) I should really cancel my 2,5 days off next week (long weekend) and work. Either at home or lock myself up in a room here to concentrate.
2) I really really need those 2,5 days off to disconnect a bit and relax - and boy am I looking forwards to it!

These things are of course directly linked - because of the intensity of work and all that is going on I need more time, but I am also reaching the point where my dreams at night consist of work; where I dream I have made fatal mistakes, and everything collapses, and there are thousands of problems I have to solve right now at once.

I need to shut down a bit. Not sure how I will achieve it, what I would really need is to get away for a few days I suppose but... dunno where to go, alone at that. I'll just have to do my best.

Sunday, 6 June 2010

Lime and green mint




















And a different shade of green.

Rose petals

In case you are wondering, the yellow rose currently residing in my kitchen is indeed blooming. Alot.

Addictions

It's been several years since I went through my Boomshine addiction where I played it several times. I recently (like, yesterday) played through it a few more times after seeing a link to it and going "Ooh Boomshine <3". And then I discovered Obechi...

Saturday, 5 June 2010

Unseasonal

I remembered I have another camera, and a few other memory cards, and when I checked them I found pictures up to half a year old that I hadn't looked at. Whoops. Not many, but still. So a few self-portraits, including one with a knitted hat that I probably took to show off the hat I had knitted. Ah well, better late than never. I like the colours. And one of a bunch of photoes I took as a test to see if I would manage to make myself participate in Julia's Kroppsbilder project (I decided I lack the guts, but just putting that very dressed photo here is progress so I will be satisfied with that for now).


Tuesday, 1 June 2010

Mender

My mp3-player has gotten progressively more unstable over the past year, going through periods where it gave me small electrical jolts in my ears through the phones, making hissy and scratchy noises or perhaps dropping sound on one ear altogether, rebooting suddenly or simply shutting down randomly when a song finished. It is fairly old; 4,5 years it has survived my at times very harsh treatment.

The plan of course was to buy a new one. Problem is, as I've mentioned before I believe, that I cannot quite find one I want. It should be tiny BUT have a screen, it needs to be able to read .ogg files seeing as I am too lazy to re-encode all that music. A cowon-player seems the only option, but I cannot quite find one I actually want, they are either too bulky or have some weird function I don't like (and which have bothered reviewers) or both. Unfortunately Cowon aren't known for their amazing UIs....

So, Mender Sil sets to work. New firmware was tracked down through some diligent searching, and installed with less than optimal instructions available, so I feared for both my computer and the player to be honest. The player was tried opened - I failed this time too but I get it enough open that I can poke a bit, and the sound is thus fixed too, at least until I slam into a wall or a bus seat again.

New life to my i5! Hopefully there will be a model player I want available soon :)