Monday, 28 July 2014

Summer mani and summer balcony

Nighttime hangout (To be honest I tend to fall asleep out there since it is slightly
cooler out there after dark, it takes longer before indoors starts cooling down.)

Monday, 21 July 2014

Paparazzi shots

Every now and then a photo that somebody I might or might not know has taken of me pops up on my radar. This one was taken by somebody I don't know, Saturday. Me and my trusty IPA, @KGB.

Friday, 18 July 2014

Running with a cane

The urge to run away is severely hampered by the fact that I walk with a cane.

So tired, mentally tired, in physical pain, slow brain due to physical circumstances, endorphines. Distracted. Processing slowly. I want to talk but I don't have the energy to interrupt and it turns out if there are more then one other person noone listens when I speak,  they speak over and around me. I am too slow, too banal, too technical, literal, unfunny, all the usual, presumably. No matter, I am not participating, and I want to.

I shouldn't have come yet I am glad I did, I feel affection for them, I have missed them. 

I should go home, but I'll have another beer, see if by waiting I'll get company on the trip home. A beer turns into a drink too, my leg hurts, my hip will stop carry me any moment, need to sit, can't sit on the step, would block the door, no chairs free, don't want to take someone else's chair, no! 

A good friend is talking, I can't tell if he is joking, being serious; being mean or just oblivious. I logically see that he is probably messing with me but I can't feel it, it's bloody serious. I treat him like he is joking and it seems it was correct. Shaking, want to cry. Everybody seem hostile under the surface, I can't judge anymore.

Someone else have brought a pet, I am afraid of it, he is keeping a loose leash despite knowing I am afraid, lets go of the leash altogether, the furball runs towards me, I almost panic, so thin a veneer of normality already, can barely keep it together. I do not think he is doing it on purpose but I will have to talk to him when I am calmer, this is driving me away, fast. 

Picture of cane taken at home.
I shouldn't be here. Too tired to interpret the actions of this alien race,  too tired to wear my human mask, people are starting to comment.

Time to run away.

Run, huh, who am I fooling. Hobbling down an alley with my cane, more like, almost falling once, catching myself against a corner. I don't think anyone I know saw, don't think anyone looked once I was a few steps away. Embarrassed about my physical weakness, far more embarrassed about my mental weakness. 

Friday, 11 July 2014

Survival skills

I apparently have no hairpins, elastics, hairclips or similar in my purse or at work.

But I have paperclips!

Thursday, 10 July 2014

A sound experiment

I wanted to see how these images and colours worked out. Some worked better than others :)

Tuesday, 8 July 2014

Monday, 7 July 2014

Sunday Funday

After five separate parties I was rather hungover and tired come Sunday. A friend slept over and we ate buttermilk pancakes with mango, raspberry and maple syrup for breakfast. And lots and lots of coffee. It kickstarted me though it wore off only all too quickly.. 
The balcony is thriving - still mostly surprise flowers. I wonder if this one might be a sunflower? I have no idea, really. I am curious though! 

I tried walking the hangover off with a friend. It was not successful, I only got sore feet, but at least it was a nice day to be out. No regrets. :)

Sunday, 6 July 2014


I bought a robot vacuum cleaner, finally. It is pushing the cats' toys around to their confusion.

Its name is Joe. Joe is so far letting me write blog posts and talk to my friend while he cleans the floor (both vacuum and dry mop), with the added bonus of cat enrichment.