I had this silly idea that I didn't need anyone else's thoughts, needn't discuss my internal workings, because I am me and I don't need others labels. As I grew a few years older and wisened up a bit I started discovering that I was reinventing the wheel, and it was slow going. Other had already travelled this road and I could reuse pieces of their discoveries, and I didn't have to copy them or do as they said, just see if a piece of it resonated and use that. (I approach fashion a bit the same way - I take the pieces I like and ignore the rest. Why it didn't occur to me to do the same with this until a few years ago I don't know.)
I know a lot more about how I work. I also know more about how to express it to make others gain some understanding of it. Using words and labels can be useful - if we want to discuss things.
And sometimes I stumble across someone else's writings and a part or all of it resonates strongly with me. I think I'll start collecting them here for my own reference. That means, maybe, that I'll share, indirectly or directly, a bit more about my inner workings than I have so far, which is maybe a bit scary, but since I tend to speak up for transparency otherwise this is just adding another transparent layer to my communication, right?
As a person, I’m a die-hard romantic, and I know that I need relationships with substance. Just because I don’t want to jump on the Relationship Escalator with someone, doesn’t mean that I don’t want to connect heart to heart, or that I will tolerate being treated as a purely sexual object or objective. All too often has that assumption been made, and I’m tired of people thinking that being Singleish equals treating the relationship with me as disposable.
To some, this has seemed like a total contradiction- a woman who desires relationships with substance, yet doesn’t want to commit to the standard “lets get married now” ideal. An individual who values her autonomy and independence so fiercely, yet who desires to share sexual, romantic, and emotional intimacy.From HERE.
This excerpt is from a recent blogpost over at polysingleish - she comes at it from a different background than me, as is to be expected, but I find a lot of her writings eloquent and resonating deeply with me. The above really hit the spot though.