Friday, 30 April 2010

Introspection

I notice certain things in myself. Things that are not always good, things that are.. areas for development and change. A lot of the time this self-insight enables me to effect a change, for instance before my boss gets the chance to point it out.

 

Most of the things I notice are not relevant right at this moment, but one thing is (since it is at the forefront of my mind at this very moment):

I find myself hesitant to write, keeping things to myself that I would have blogged without hesitation (although some consideration) half a year ago or a year ago. Introversion on the rise – even online. And I don’t think that is a good thing, seeing as I am naturally introvert to begin with.

 

Why is this?

Hard to pinpoint. Knowing that some of my most regular readers are, in some ways, closer to me than I am used to? It is one thing writing for an audience which mostly exists only in text, only rarely seen in person, it is very different writing when people reading it are people I am not unlikely to meet tomorrow or later today, or that have a very active presence online. I feel more exposed, somehow. I know it is not true and nothing have changed from when I did not know they read it to now, but it feels different. I also find myself analysing my thoughts and trying to find out if they are somehow influenced by or relevant to people I know more than I used to, actively avoiding any reference to anyone. Again, limiting myself – my older policy of no names said unless they agree to be mentioned was better in that sense.

 

Stuff to ponder.

 

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